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The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the peak of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Gen Z, a generation who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is engaged or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who forgo having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal habits signaling a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits affirm your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that immediately kill any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet act.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {