The One Change That Worked: The Way I Overcame After-Work Tension Through an Unexpected Find in the Loft

One frequently become like a coiled spring once the workday ends. Tension grips my shoulders, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, closing my laptop with a thud would be followed by the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, several months back, I came across an old school recorder belonging to my grown son up in the loft. I idly blew into it, instantly reminded of the time it was the bane of my life – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I was the least musical child ever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and printed out a fingering chart. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, it was something your average five-year-old could master before first break, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son asked what the hell I was doing (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. Forgetting notes easily meant I had to concentrate on the sheet of paper in front of me, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, my attention sharpened, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a passable Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I still need to write the names of the notes down, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it’s purely about the joy it provides and how it clears my mind while playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, as well as my son’s.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I escape into my own realm. And afterwards, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, and boosting mental skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s truly an ode to joy.